“So if people ever look down upon you for crying for fictional characters, you should give them a gentle, pitying look and feel bad for them. If they’ve never cried for a fictional character, then they’ve never loved one (and what a joy that is). If they’ve never cried at a book, a movie, a piece of music, then they’ve missed one of the great pleasures life has to offer. Just because fiction does not contain things that are real doesn’t mean it doesn’t contain truth, and we find it through the alchemy of our tears.”
hey, remember when you were all like “you need to advocate for yourself and tell professors about things so you don’t fuck yourself over again?”
they don’t even know. i’ve done such a great job of attending classes and getting (almost) everything handed in on time, but it’s freaking me out a little bit that i was able to fake being this okay for three months. the walls are coming down at an alarming rate, and they don’t even know it’s happening. they don’t even know anything about me, and that really bothers me.
“The power of the dead is that we think they see us all the time. The dead have a presence. Is there a level of energy composed solely of the dead? They are also in the ground, asleep and crumbling. Perhaps we are what they dream.”
– Don DeLillo, White Noise (1985)
some of my work is being referenced in an academic journal article on disability arts and i feel so validated by that. i always thought the highlight of my academic/artistic career would be to have something published in a journal myself, but this is an even bigger honour i think (especially because i so respect all of the people involved).
thank you, benjamin, for being my inspiration and my heartache.
i had to do a class presentation on the second anniversary of his death. it was haphazardly thrown together in the hour before. i took a cigarette break five minutes before class and was about to have a proper breakdown and defeatedly hop back on the bus when i found half a pack of belmonts on the ground.
i have never found cigarettes on the ground, especially not our brand.
thanks for letting me know you were there, you cheeky asshole.
"I’ve Been Told"- by Evangeline Gentle (original song)
I own all rights to this song. Protected under copyright.
I seriously have the most amazingly beautiful, talented friends.
Sorrow found me when I was young, Sorrow waited, sorrow won. Sorrow that put me on the pills, It’s in my honey it’s in my milk. It’s only about half a heart alone On the water, Cover me in rag and bones, sympathy. 'Cause I don't wanna get over you. I don’t wanna get over you.
Why would you ever choose ignorance? That’s equally as damaging as being oppressive. ”Oh, I dont mean it that way” “oh, its just a joke” “we’re just having fun” aren’t excuses. You are being a shitty person. If you can agree that rape is bad and racism and sexism is bad, then how can you try and excuse yourself by calling problematic behaviours a joke. No. Listen to people who are calling you out on things. Better yourself. Why is that hard? Trying to justify your actions when they are problematic is problematic in itself.